By: pulsedaily| Date: August 9, 2025
A recent opinion piece by social commentator Stephanie Shaakaa has sparked fresh discussion on gender double standards in relationships, particularly when it comes to infidelity.
In her article, titled “Same Sin, Different Funeral”, Shaakaa points out that when a man cheats, society often sees it as a flaw that can be forgiven — but when a woman cheats, she is judged far more harshly, with her actions deemed unforgivable.
writes that in many cultures, including across Africa, male infidelity is often excused as “natural,” while female infidelity is seen as a major betrayal. She highlights examples of women forgiving cheating husbands without public shame, while men who choose to forgive cheating wives are often labelled “weak” or “foolish.”
“A man cheats and the world whispers, it’s in their nature. A woman cheats and the same world screams, how could she?” Shaakaa observes.
The commentary suggests that societal views on marriage play a role in this imbalance. In traditional settings, a woman is often seen as the “vessel” for a man’s lineage, and her loyalty is linked to his pride and social status.
Religious teachings also come under scrutiny. Shaakaa argues that many sermons treat male infidelity as a test of a wife’s character, while female infidelity is used as justification for divorce. She calls this selective application of scripture “patriarchy with a rosary.”
Shaakaa concludes by stressing that forgiveness should not be determined by gender. She urges society to abandon the idea that male betrayal is normal while female betrayal is monstrous, and to create space for healing that does not demand more suffering from one gender than the other.
Her piece has since drawn wide reactions online, with many agreeing that cultural attitudes toward infidelity need to change.
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